Friday, October 28, 2005

Movies With Best Endings!

What makes a good movie? What is your favorite movie?

Now this is an open ended question cause it's multi factorial…what makes a good comedy is not the same that makes a good action flick or a horror flick…so I always categorise movies in different genres.

And in each genre there is a definite favorite. There is that finger licking good flick that makes you wanna applaud…makes you wanna steal that rental copy and move video libraries. The type that you watch solo and you keep nodding your head in approval…and you wish you had someone there to high five. The type you brag to your friends and vilify if they have never even heard of them. The type when you are blogging about, you need to take a breather and sigh in reminiscent bliss! As medusa would say "taste so good makes u wanna slap ur momma!"

Now, let's discuss movies with the best endings of all time! If this was to be equated with certain pleasures of the world…it would have u singing Johnny Gill’s “My My My…mama-my my my my…”

This post overwhelmes me I wonder if I will do justice to these movies!

(Not in any preferencial order)


MMMmmmm! mmm! mmmmh! What a cast!!! Benicio Del Toro was magnificent! So was Stephen Baldwin and of course Chazz Palminteri...but boy, Kevin Spacey stole that cake, ate it and left no crumbs!!!... it was such a pity the oscar was not for BEST ACTOR!

What a storyline! What an unexpected twist that’s delivered smack at the end-a jiffy just before credits started rolling. This movie was screaming "you're a jack ass, you have no idea what's coming!"

KEYSER SOZE! Damn! Who could have thought?! I had to watch it twice to see how on earth I’d been duped!

2. SE7EN

Can you say a buffet of superb actors! Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Spacey and add a sauce of seven mortal sins! I'll say it once again Brad Pitt is an underrated actor! That mutha can act!!! Watch: Legends of the fall, 12 monkeys, Fight Club, Seven Years in Tibet, Sleepers and Troy! Brad Pitt is a whole movie genre on his own!

This was one of those eerie thrillers from the get-go! We have Kevin Spacey-a psychotic serial killer- who punishes/kills according to the seven deadly sins. Remember the fat guy he stuffed with spaghetti for GLUTONY????...and the climatic ending ends with his seeking own punishment for he too has succumbed to ENVY! That last perfomance in the open field Pitt against Spacey (with Paltrow's head in a box!!!) pass me some salt this movie was YUMMY!!!!


Guy Pierce...this guy started off as Mike Young in Neighbour's remember him as Des and Daphne's roomate. And in U.S.A he has made some superb films like L.A Confidential and Count of Monte Cristo..and then there was MEMENTO!!!! It was screaming "ORIGINAL!!! ORIGINAL!!!"
Damn even 21 grammes didn't even come anywhere close!

A character that cannot create new memories as he tries to remember events in time. Now the classic thing about this film is its style for the movie progresses backwards. Trust me take down notes while watching this! The movie goes backwards in time starting from w-z, followed by t-v...and the way the story unfolds or it it folds creates one of the best endings of all time. The ending is the beginning that reveals a shocker!!!

You have to watch this twice to understand it. DAMN DAMN DAMN..they don't make them this good any more!

4. Primal Fear:

Now Edward Norton shot to fame after this. And you wonder why. Ever watch his performance in American History X! Superb acting.
He held his own against powerhouse Richard Gere...and he pulled that innocent-holy boy routine so had to love him!!! You coulda taken him home clothed, fed and loved him fuh ever and ever! Who woulda thought he'd been molested and actually conspired to killing the cardinal and ultimately faking the sweet-boy persona. And the plot gets revealed right at the end and the audience and Richard Gere are left dumbfounded!

5.Fight Club

Now pair up above Edward Norton against Brad Pitt-need I add more. Take a story that involves multiple personalities whereby you have no idea that Pitt and Norton are actually the same guy in a warped mind...and yes you guessed it- this is revealed at the very end!!!!!
First Rule of Fight Club?

6.Mullholand Drive:

Oh, this is one twisted movie that cost me a few nights' sleep trying to figure out what the hell was going on!!! Was i dreaming or were they? Was it all someone's dream? What the hell was goin on? call 1-800-get me a clue! Excellently might mistake it for being boring but trust me hang in there till the very END!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

The New James Bond

Requested by TeeJay

I think there comes a part in every series be it movie or tv, where the inevitable happens and the a character gets re-casted. In the likes of young and the restless the were even blatant enough to say "So and so will now be played by so and so" and i guess the show does go on.

Now when it comes to movies there have been definite shifts especially when it comes to franchises. And i have never been affected or moved by them.Regardless of the it death/contract re-negotiation/producers wanting better... I have always been a sport and welcomed the change.

When they substituted Jodie Foster with Julianne Moore in the Hannibal sequel-I was Ok.
Ben Afleck,Harrison Ford, Alec Baldwin have all payed the same role in those Clancy Movies...Ok
Batman has been Played by Michael Keaton,Val Kilmer,George Clooney(though he sucked big time) and now Christian Bale....well I actually really didnt mind the verdict is still not yet out on BATMAN BEGINS..I'm still disappointed why the next movie has to have Joker as the villain.
Superman: Of course was immortalised by Christopher Reeve, In TV Dean Cain wasn't Bad and Tom Welling on Smallville is just quite right..and there is a new superman movie next year as Superman Returns opens..and i will be waiting.
Tarzan had many actors swinging from vine to vine.
Heck even I was comfortable when DeNiro played a younger Don in the Godfather whenit was pretty clear he looked nothing like Marlon Brando.

Just to name a few...but none other change irks me as that of James Bond! It started way back with Timothy Dalton..hated those two movies and their underwater action sequences. When Pierce came along i was more relieved Dalton was gone but still apprehensive all same I could not understand why Roger Moore or Connery were not Bond anymore. But after GoldenEye-i was hooked and had accepted him to be the ultimate Bond. Of course, Connery will be the best bond ever-but Moore and Brosnan filled those shoes pretty darn well. Brosnan had re-invented and revived BOND....

And now THIS!!!

Now there were many actors in the running for this role. From Clive Owen, Daniel Craig, Hugh Jackman, Hugh Grant, Orlando Bloom, Collin Farrell...I do not hate these actors...have watched their movies and will watch plenty more. Oh, sorry I'm kidding I can't stand Hugh Grant-damn! Almost hated Love Actually cause of him! It's not that I'm against Daniel Craig(whoever he is)...I'm just against the whole CHANGE!

Personally, I believe James Bond is suave/debonair/Elegant with a British class that should be inherent. He is your typical smooth, womanising, arrogant son of a bitch that will get away with anything...and Pierce so well Portrayed that...and so did Connery and Moore.(oh don't get me started on George Lazenby!) None of the above actors can play that or carry it well. In spite of the sheer fact its called ACTING!

So people thats my reason for hating the new Blond Bond as he is being called. Yes, I will watch the movie obviously...but I am totally unamused and least bit enthused by this re-casting. The producers made a huge mistake dropping Pierce....and unfortunately I may even be proved wrong knowing my luck with such commentaries!

Ladies, I don't care if he makes your heart beat faster and slower at the same time (copyright "Hot Chick") He ain't BOND!

So,until then i remain shaken and stirred!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Rules of Movie Theatres

This post was requested by Milo.

Company and I:
(be it a date or a friend)

>Please Keep Time! IF anything irritates me more, is missing a single credit and second!
>If you decide not to turn up. To cancel last minute. To try re-schedule it...haki I will watch it alone! If I am siked up for a movie, nothing is gonna dissuade me,not even the fear of looking like a loser watching a movie big screen accompanied by a ticket!
>Now if we buy a hotdog..and you decide to go to the loo and leave me holding it for you. I WILL PUT CHILLI FOR YOU! My argument being why should i enjoy it alone?
Back in 2002 four of us skived classes to watch Mission Impossible 2.Dennis, Kui, June and I. So, Dennis leaves me holding his hotdog and dashes off to the 'gents'. He saunters back happily and relieved, we go to our seats and everyone is happy as a lark-despite that guilt looming in the back of our mind. Now, he, is the kind who only eats when the credits start rolling. It's been like 15 minutes and everyone else has almost eaten half their junk but OH no... a brada had to wait till he saw A..../Tom Cruise production... John Woo Film...THEN we hear someone hyperventilating in a hissing fit on our left.(Yup the Chilli was that good!) Now this lil sissy cannot stand chilli!
So next we hear! "NICHOLAS!!!!!!" (trust me when its not Nick/Nicko its not looking good!) Innocently, I reply "mmm hmm!What's up?" He continues "NICHOLAS! You put chilli" (inhaling and exhaling more than Tom is doing that stunt on the cliff) What proceeded was torrents of abuse with occasional re-affirmation. "You idiot who told u to put know i dont take chilli..go buy me another hotdog *&%&$&$! you know i dont take chilli...!@#@$%$^$^%&$% you know i dont take chilli!"

There I was stiffling giggles..but trust me I was the only one laughing!

What a whine bag...I have never been whined to like that in my entire life by a male buddy! Unfortunately, I actually felt sorry in this case..not to mention June and Kui got into it...lets just say the 3 of them bonded quite well exchanging laughs during the movie.


>You had better hush during previews. Heck even days of Newsreel...the whole experience of viewing pleasure starts from the time you seat down after the National Anthem. So, if that is the preview for the latest Spiderman/Superman-damn you better be excited as I am!...and the only way to be excited is TO WATCH it.
>Now during the movie. It requires skill/finese to throw in cheap humor at the right time at the right speed. The continuity of the movie flow shall/should never be interrupted!
>I wait for the credits till the very end! So you ain't going no where in a hurry
>Oh, you're popcorn is finished...girl, you're gonna miss a lot getting another packet yourself!
>In my vast experience, in terms of nipple freezing cold temperatures
Kenya Cinema and Sarit win hands carry you're own darn sweater.... Honestly I ain't starting to sneeze or sniffle-not when watching the movie-just cause you don't know the rules!
>Don't you dare sleep! Its an insult to me(even if you bought the ticket).
>Don't start having chat conversations via sms!

Public and I:
1.Read above rules
2.Those Ushers irritate the living daylights. I hate that torch waving gesture. And I know my way around the theatre do not escort me like a child holding my ticket stab...and then refuse to give it back!
3.Strangers or fellow theatre mates:
>Please keep time. I also get irritated when others miss as well. Clearly I have a problem.
>Learn how to whisper during the movie.
However, I was impressed by another loudmouth while watching Charlies Angels 2, in 2003. A smarty mouth chick was unleashing trivia behind me mpaka i was impressed. Damn, i almost switched seats and got her number! The funny thing her apparent date could care less for the movie or for her background knowledge...and there I was saying "You know ur stuff girl? Ati why was Bill Murray replaced by Bernie Mac?" She was a wikipedia of information from Demi Moore..heck she knew Drew Barrymore was in E.T and had produced the movie.

>Do not dangle your funky feet next to the chair near me. Do not fart! Do not munch like a child!
>Please come early I hate having to stand up and down cause u have no sense of time, as you shadily quip "excuse me?!"
>If you are gonna brush up against me please be smellin nice, and don't step on me, and don't knock over my food, and dont pass again till the movie is over!
>Halitosis-breathe in another direction!
>I don't get picked up by strangers so please, tuheshimiane, watch the damn movie!
>Question time:
NO,NO,NO HELL NO! I did not sit on your seat! I have never! Check again fool!
Yes, the movie started a long time back and YES u missed alot!
Yes, I mind holding your popcorn as you go down to buy chocolate or to the loo.
Yes, this is your aisle, now hurry up $%^$&&^%!!!!!
Yes, there are usually breaks in between long's not over.
Yes, it ends around 4:30pm/7:30pm
No, just cause I'm alone seated right infront of the screen doesn't make me a loser. So you and your friends stop giggling!

Little Children and I:
>Pee Pee Pee Pee Pee!!!
>See that little shop? That's where you buy popcorn. Now don't finish yours in a hurry and then want more...cause you will have to come aaaaaaall the way down here to buy it BY YOURSELF.
>Later in the movie in you feel the cutest tag on your sleeve and barely audible hushed whispers(she knows her rules!)
"Uncle Nick, i want more popcorn?"
"Sweetie, you know Nick Don't play that!"

Nick and I:
>I never leave the theatre even if the movie is boring as hell. I think the worst movie experienceIi hated was Artificial Intelligence! Yawnsville!
>I never leave during those lame breaks. It's a ruse to make you miss valuable time.
>I always sneak in foods. Over the many years i have sneaked in a pizza/burger and kenchic kuku...oh heaven
>So far my record stands at 30 movies a year! Hoping to beat it this year am at 24
>I always keep my ticket stab
>I love seating at E9/10 or F9/10 smack in the middle of the screen,and smack in front there. The seat after the one on the aisle. I am always seated nearest to the aisle
>Occasionally applauding is called for. Matrix-yes i was the one over there getting my clap on.

Memories and I:
>I miss the guys that would sell grub inside the theatre.
>I miss Newsreel and the voice that presented it!
>I miss when everythnig used to be forty bob. Hotdog,fanta and chocolate was 120/=
>I miss going to Fox Drive-In for those marathon New Years Movies!
>I miss Fox Drive and the speakers that would dangle on the window and many patrons would forget and drive off with them.... and theirdelicious Chicken!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Four Brothers

-4 brothers: 2 white 2 black. Raised as brothers after being adopted by a sweet old lady when no other foster parents could take up these delinquents wrong guys.
-Their mother has just been killed, in what looks like a deliberate act of execution, and the brothers unite in search of revenge!
-The story revolves around police corruption, and mob bosses that hutsle small time business owners for a share of profits

Mark Wahlberg (remember 'smooth vibrations' by the group marky mark and the funky bunch?)
Tyrese (found fame from a coke commercial)
Andre3000 ( none other than he of 'shake it like a polaroid picture...')
Garrett Hedlund (relatively unknown though had a small role in Troy)
Terrence Howard (best known for his role in Best Man. But this year for the movie Crush as a rich black tv soap director!)

-Directed by John Singleton: yup he has almost sterotyped black movies. From the likes of BabyBoy , Boyz n the hood, Higher Learning, Poetic Justice... Arguably the best movie he has directed having been fed up of the usual typical black stories of guys growing up in the wrong hood trying to get by. But are forced by circumstances to either die/do drugs/raise bastard kids/kill....

-This movie had nothing to do with good morals-just mere cold blooded revenge. It wasn't the preachy kind. Nothing to do with good vs bad. It was all western/gangster like. The bond of brotherhood is so vividly dispalyed and climaxes at the death of the last born brother in a ghastly nasty shoot out! (oh yes i love them spoilers)

-Theme: Family bonds/Brotherly love as they seek to avenge their mothers death, no holes barred. It was brutally nice.

Surprises:None. Simple story line that flows quite major turn in plots even as they deliberately try to mislead you into believing one of the brothers could be responsible.

>A cheap humping scene between Tyrese and his espanol speakin hood-rat chicka! Totally uncalled for...not worth the 4seconds of reel time.
>As is frequent with most hollywood movies-ending leaves a lot to be desired

Verdict: 6/10 Should be seen, if on big screen the better.