Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Black Movies? Classics?

Somewhere in my teens, we became obsessed with identifying ourselves us black! It wasn't enough we were born black…we had to say it and prove it! So ghetto attitudes emerged mid-form 1. Especially with the likes of Snoop hitting our walkmans “...mirror mirror on the wall who is the top dawn of them all? There was a rabble dabble 5 minutes had lasted…you are you conceited bastard!”

So our dressing style changed. The way we spoke changed, know wha I mean nigga foo u best be representing up in this hees-ouse! And the movies we borrowed changed as well. All of a sudden if you was (see the kind of language I be using?) black you must have watched specific movies. God we were full of crap!

So this is a post on black movies over the years past through present that have tried to influence society. Of course my take on Black movies is that they are whack cum slightly below average. Solely because they all have the same message! Same old grew up disadvantaged in the projects…grew up to do know good…selling or doing drugs…puh-lease give us a new story! Without drive-by’s. Without coke. Without guns.

So I did watch these black movies…no regrets but they sure aren’t classics. Don’t you agree most were moderate!? Some had great moments…and were worth wathing…but think are these on your Christmas Present DVD list???

Color Purple



Most definitely one of Steven Spielberg’s best works. Black cast that had powerful performances. Since when did you see a black actress getting an Oscar nomination in their first big screen appearance like Whoopi and Oprah did.
Mshairi I know this is one of your favorite movies…and color.

Boyz n the Hood



Gripping yes. At the time I guess the storyline hadn’t been overplayed.
Sure it put John Singleton on the map…but funny thing is this movie is considerd a classic. I’m sure nothing that raw had also aired so it was a milestone. But is this a movie you want in your movie collection. Maybe?

Cuba Gooding, Morris Chestnut, Ice Cube…

Jungle Fever and other Spike Lee movies



Yaani…these are apparently the black classics of our time. Killer song by Stevie Wonder. Now the debate about Spike Lee and his movies is a post for another day. "coz she's got jungle fever his got jungle fever..." I watched this movie on M-net un-censored....mmm mmm so that's what washing machines are used for...what a revelation!


Boomerang


Sex Sex and more Sex. (Actually whats wrong with that) Didn’t believe Eddie Murphy would go this route. Martin, Robin Givens, David Allan Grier, Halle Berry and Lela Rochon and Tisha Campbel as the neighbour...I mean which black Star wasn't in this...

Edie Murphy beingleft high and dry holding sheets up to his chin like he was violated and used.
And his fetish with toes?LOL!
You guys must remember Grace Jones acting as ‘Strangé’ Killer soundtrack as well. “end of the road” and Toni B and Babyface “Give you my heart” and Toni B “Love shoulda brought you home last night” To which Halle Berry paraphrased “Love shoulda brought your ass home last night!”


Malcolm X



Loved it Loved it! Great Great!

A definite must watch! Now, Denzel deserved the Oscar for this not Training Day!


Menace to Society



Loved it Loved it!
Larenz Tate at his finest playing 'O-Dawg'. I loved this film when I first watched it...Apparently one of those films that you must have and had to have watched. It sure had its moments...also considered a classic in its time! It actually could be like Boyz in the Hood! But this one I would love to watch again.

Jason’s Lyrics



Gangster movie goes all mushy and romantic. Loved Allen Payne washing Jada Pinket's toes by the lake side. Also loved this one...I think I was on a roll.

Poetic Justice



What made me burf was that it was about a girl called Justice who wrote Poems…Poetic Justice…
I you remember Janet’s song she was prolly singin “and I’ll never make this mistake AGAIN!” Janet Vs Tupac-LOL “wanna smell my punani” what tha?
And why didn’t someone tell me what TLC was singing when they were singing “Get it up” I thought they were saying get you r hands up….took me like 6 years later to figure that out….



Above the Rim



Didn’t want to mention this but Betcha by golly wow (trying to sound white) it had a killer soundtrack! Regulate by Warren G my fav rap of all time… “I’m tweakin into a whole new level G-funk step to this I dare ya…where rythmn is the base and the base is the treble..cords strings we brings melody…”
Note no comment on the movie!



Love Jones



Larenz Tate again…one of the first Black romantic movies of the time. Hmmmh!?

Higher Learning.



Tsk Tsk Tsk…Omar Epps, Tyra Banks directed by John Singleton...hapana!

Bootie Call



It was actually funny… Jamie Foxx( the one and only oscar award winner i wonder if he'd like to delete it from his C.V) and Vivica Fox.
LOL…this falls with other movies like WOO and Sprung! You just have to watch and keep it to yourself!


Don’t be a menace to south Central while drinking your juice in the hood.



1.If you haven’t watched the above movies…you will not appreciate the parody
2.You know I’m a sucker for spoofs!

Waiting to Exhale



Exhale already...and what was Wesley Snipes doing there?

More of a chick flick with Terry McMillan influence than it was a black movie. Angela Basset was great. Remember Donald Faison in this-he of scrubs-getting a BJ on the side?
Except for its soundtrack this movie-hapana!


Set it off



Not a bad flick actually…but not the greatest either. Jada Jada Jada Jada…Thank God you made it out alive!


Soul Food



Stellar Cast if there was ever gonna be a black movie to set standards this shoulda been the movie. But it didn’t quite deliver. Babyface on the soundtrack. It managed to get a spin off into a TV series. It was a nice flick but not the greatest…but on a league of its own in Black Movies.


The Best Man



I actually like this movie..well-cast. They should make more of these. But still not a classic!


The Wood


Surely!Sure good old memories but...left wanting...

remember this line
Dude: Touch it baby?
Babe: Oh it looks so nasty!
Dude:It's natural baby…natural!

Two can play that Game



Chicks went crazy with this movie-even Asian chicks! They learnt, memorized and lived this movie. Ubaya it had some funny lines and the actresses were hot Vivica, Gabrielle Union…and Monique…I love that woman-larger than life with a larger than life personality. That dirty minded “Nigga can lay the pipe!”

How to be a player



Had to put a movie for the guys probably the Male equivalent of Two can play that game…good lines in this one as well. But a classic? doubt it!



The Brothers.


I really liked this movie come to think of it. It was descent and had a normal storyline.
A classic?

So that’s majority of your list…now how many agree that most black films are whack. If you have classics put them here.


NB: I’m not downplaying Black Actors or Actresses…just those Black produced films with Black themes…

NB: have you ever noticed Tamala Jones is the Black Movie ho I think she has nearly appeared in all Black Sitcoms and Black movies of the 90’s




22 comments:

UARIDI said...

You are right, we used to watch "Black" movies because they were by African decendents. I have become more selective and I will only watch a movie that has the right ingredients for me.

I am visiting you - watch out now!!!

Mentalacrobatics said...

You guy you are so right about the influence these things had on us. I remember when it seemed like everyone was rolling in mostly fake (well in my case totally fake) Karl Kani jeans and Doc Martins. Hehe.

How could you forget about the classic of all classic movies of them all, Juice! Tupac, Sammy L, Queen Latifah, Omar etc.

One of the first CD's I ever bought was the Menace II Society soundtrack I was amused and kidogo proud because one of the songs, Top of the World, was by a jamaa called Kenya Gruv. This was before I realised that everyone is called Kenya ama India those sides!

dangerously_shy said...

Asiiii...wewe kimundu..kuwa serious lol..where is i got the hookup with Master "uuhhh" P..with classic lines like "one spray and its poof! biatch begone..biatch begone" (he was talkin to these two ET mamas, ET being Extra Terrestrial..meaning FUGLY) oh and the outtake where hes "like i dont care, i aint leavin here till i f*cked one of these muhhfugas!" (he was referring to the strippers lol) er...and then youve missed out Pootie Tang, and ah hell naw, you did not miss out Panther and Dead Presidents...hauuuu atleast Set It off did make the cut?..latiffa munching that mama was memorable for geeks like me who didnt know mamas cld do that sorta thing tee hee...oh and when Jada was watching her from the bus..i liad like it was me who was being shot..lol, i see someone here has a little thing for Ms Pinkett..do you know she has gone all rock and roll? yaani theres a clip of her and its mind boggling..u know the black boy with a mane of wild hair screamin is Jada lakini somehow the mind does not compute...oh and she dated Tupac and she is gay!! yes i feel ur pain, twas the same one i felt when i skiad Tevin when he was singing can we talk was referring to mwaura anga akina nick na milo...

my classic movies...

Friday with Ice Cube lol...u cannot tell me that Chris Tucker was not funny in it..the second one was mbaya mboff though..

Paper Soilders is also a good one..tis by the same dude who dun er..Soul plane ehe..that gobshite movie that i wasted a whole day worth of downloading time..anyway paper soilders is funny..

Amistad...brilliant movie...watched it with a white pal and was suprised when he told me that the origin of the word "nitty gritty" came as a result of the way they used to transport slaves as per the movie, as in the flick they were crammed mpaka they were literally on top of each other..so with the voyage from ghana to states u can imagine how many died from such conditions..ironically this is when the whites wld clean the ship floor and wld sweep away the nitty gritty..see?

Devil in the Blue Dress..Lol..no comment..

How Stella Got Her Groove On...does it count that he has now come out as being gay tee hee..ok movie..

Trois - chafu hiyo..

Jungle Fever...Lol..ahh Wesley wesenye snipes..no comment..

Theres one that females loved sana..twas with wesenye and sanaa..ive got the video tape (yes i do buy once in a while loool) in storage but will get back to u when i remember the name..it was fascinating to watch..its all about the dynamics of a black relationship where there its just about the two of them as in no infidelity..i liked it..

Car wash - snoop and other C list black celebs..not a classic but it was aiight..

Whats love got to do with it - Angela played Tina in this and boy oh boy was she brilliant..i hated laurence fishburne with a passion lol..yes it was a case of "calm down dear, its only a movie"

Ray - havent watched it but im sure itll become a classic...


woiii and the best one of all..sarafina..sarafina sarafina mama ye!!! tee hee..those SA mamas made it possible for women with mboff legs to wear minis..i loved that movie and will never stop tafutaing a copy..definetly a classic..that and Zulu although it potrayed the facts inaccurately it was still a good movie.

Ps - Tamala isnt the black flicks ho..that dubious award shd go to that mama Sanaa...halalala..shes been kamatwad in all of them as well...

Woi...if u somad to the end well done..cookie coming ur way..if not, i dont blame u lol..but such is the price one pays for being a house whore and watching movies back to back..tee hee

Movie Buff said...

Wait a minute. BROWN SUGAR IKO WAPI???? And I do agree... FRIDAY is a must in a classic "Black movies"...

To tell u the truth..... I dont like hizo kina 'the brothers' 'the wood' 'the best man' 'deliver us from Eva'.... etc etc.... I watch them for the eye candy..... not because the movie is particularly any good.......

Color Purple.... where do I begin!!! WHERE!

acolyte said...

I was here!Will comment kesho!

The.Hanyeé said...

Eish, Couch Pizzle

Ati you thought "Get it Up" was a mikono juu song? The true essence of naivete, wah!

Love Jones was a lady killer...I was sorted HEAVILY after watching this movie (and proceeding to unleash "Brother To The Night" for her, gai fafa..) with a mbolite mami...wacha tu..

Menace 2, Higher Learning and Bootie Call...all were fish bollocks.

Loved the Soundtrack of "Soul Food"...too bad Milestone were a fictitious band...

Black Movies suck MAJOR ASS! As in, they are terrible...shallow storylines and recurrent characters...John Witherspoon is a ho, so is Mike Epps, Morris Chestnut, Gabrielle Union, Tamala Jones...

And how can you forget FRIDAY? Gaadamit!

akiey said...

'Tato, your' is a very nice selection of Urban Movies that have had an immense impact on many people Kenyan Black or other and many other minorities around the world, however...


I differ with you on being a little too subjective in your analysis and for that I will come back in a few mins to drop a few dimes as to why I totally disagree with your take on some of them.

Now off to get my 1.5hr nap I've been postponing...

akiey said...

As I get ready to snooze away could someone please explain this misconception I am feeling here!:


Amistad & The Color Purple are being treated with white goody-goody gloves and a prong because what?! Because they were made by a Jewish (read: Non-Black director) called Steven Spielberg!?

Do I smell something fishy here my people?? Will be back when I awake:)

Nice day Nick/'Tato!

Adrian said...

in addition to above the rim, jason's lyrics also had a killer soundtrack.

while home, had to get myself one of those dvd-sets with all the friday movies, the barbershop movies and sijui what. not all classics, but still a good buy.

from the spike lee dvd-set with jungle fever, do the right thing and clockers, jungle fever wins by miles (at least for someone who's far away from the situations portrayed in the other two)

spicebear said...

i was planning to come back lakini friday was the coolest! kwanza those one liners like "you got knocked the fuck out!" and others.

i will return ...

riley freeman said...

Hustle & Flow iko wapi ?

bankelele said...

Some of these movies were great, some were dogs, but it's not fair to lump them all as black.

E.g do it by director e.g. Spike Lee, K I Wayans or by genre - there was a time when any black movie was raved about, then folks said there are too many gansgetr movies and can we have movies without guns - that depict black folk as normal people with family, love, parenting issues. etc

KenyanMusings said...

Aiii, kwani where is love and basketball?

Eh? And Save the last dance you mofo? eh?

Me,I have never been a huge fan of black flicks(nobody shoot!!),....aki they deal on the past way too much...aheem, okay fine, the beberus did us in...Let it go already...can we move on upin here? "why? because I am black?" eh? Blame the black man for everything.....
*raises forefinger* buuuut, I have watched most on that list, which goes to say that yes, at some points, those are the only movies my cousin who knew kila mtu in the neighborhood could hustle for...tihihi, vile haki they used to do raos in the hood, aiiii,
Ahhhh! the good old days when people actually used to share stuff. Now, I have workmates who give me DVDs and a timeline, yaani, for if its not here bu kesho jioni, please get anutha job...aiii, now how?.....

Me, I got fixated on Baby boy where Tyrese komongad that mama....aiii, and thats as far as i got...stop rewind, watch komongation, stop rewind, watch komongation....tihi, it was a whack movie I hear...Dunno, but I can tell you about the komongation!

Couch 'tato said...

@ everyone its unanimous they all usually have great soundtracks ati that we shall accept

@Uaridi: even after gettin selective u will get disappointed

@Mental:oh my gawd id forgotten about Karl Kani clad that was prolly the first label guys made a fuss about even before nike

LOL Juice!

@D-Shy:Ebu i catch my breath u are killing me here.LMAO! @shock on munchfest and her gettin shot-LOL
but it was a sawas movie
Dead Presidents was also with Larenz Tate
-Tamala is the movie ho am tellin u!
-whats love got to do with it:lets not go there
I didnt consider Amistad in this criteria of typical black

@Movie Buff:hata hio brown sugar hapana!

@Hanyee: manze mikono juu..get ready for a real good time....who'd have figured it out..apparently everyone else

MAnze i have to admit i forgot FRIDAY! drat!

@Akiey:ebu come back and comment real soon...but even Color Purple i wouldnt have put it here butits a great movie starrin all blacks

@Adrian: remember 'you will know' by Black men united and Brian Mcknights 'crazy love'

@Spicey:yup Friday has been missed drat...but cammon think about the sequels

@Riley:LOL hustle and flo was a good movie but that one was too new hence missed the cut

@bankelele: tru u can divide up black directors into Singleton, Lee, K wayans and even Robert Townsend

but havent u noticed somethin they are all their movies?

@KM:babyboy another Singleon movie...damn ur right there was sodom and Komongora! Remember the mum doin the bunny hop with ving rhames...damn! and tyrese's scene as well


@

egm said...

If you haven't already seen it, check out Love, Sex and Eating the Bones. Directed by David Sutherland starring Hill Harper (of CSI New York). Hill is the only known actor. The rest of the cast were relatively unknowns. This movie does not shy away from tackling the black man's failure to please a woman in the bedroom (mostly due to the main character's addiction to porn). It explores how this man (a security guard who is great at photography) ends up with a woman waaaayyy beyond his league (she's a company executive) and how he has to overcome his addiction to porn to get back his artistic touch, and most important, to keep his woman. Watched it at a film festival in Boston 3 yrs ago and participated in a Q&A session with Sutherland and Harper.

Shiroh said...

When were you a teen Couch! Like ten years ago. Ngai fafa,.

Humour was it about the black movies.

And of course fly men. Wewe!!!

Udi said...

Wapi Juice. Wapi Wapi Juice.

kelitu said...

@couch:Yes Tamala Jones is a movie ho and a ho in real life.
She has been passed round soo many times than a needle in a crack house. She was engaged to Nate Dog but after he found out about her sluty ways, kicked her ass to the curb.

WEEEEE were is Coming to America that is like the greatest balck movie of all times. "Good Morning my neighbours."

Couch 'tato said...

@egm:most definitely will look out for it it sounds good already

@shiroh:thin ice i tell u thin ice

@UDI:LOL

@kelitu:Coming to America is actually a very film...I don't consider it a typical Black movie which is a good thing for Eddie Murphy!

dangerously_shy said...

Right..the movie i was talkin about with wesenye and sanaa is called disappearing acts, a chick flick but nonetheless most dudes will like it.

Ahem..er what do u mean lets not go hapo re: whats mapenzi got to do with it? i reckon it was a powerful movie...

Lol@komogora..i must use that some time..

nice weekenti!

Irena said...

Some black movies are cool and well produced but others are worse than those Nigerian movies = one camera man , bad acting, same room , same decor , same outfit, camera focussing on just the main actor and forgetting other smaller distractions that make a movie great, I could go on and on but my all time best black movie , Malcom X,okay and Waiting to Exhale LOL.*SOB* they do not make good black movies anymore

Makanga said...

Martin was such a religion. If you showed up to chuo on Thursday without having watched Martin the previous night on KTN, baaas....umeloba. You can't get involved in 80% of the day's conversations. Why lie I love that show.

I liked New Jersy Drive and Above the Rim and both soundtracks were timamu. I'll never forget the first time I heard that Total & Biggie song off New Jersy Drive. It still gets me to this day.

Just watched Hustle and Flow recently, which I think was nicely done. And I was able to see a throwback, the Spike Lee joint, Mo Betta Blues. Spike always impresses.

The thing to remember is Hollywood isn't very receptive right now to serious black themed drama that doesn't fit the stereotypical shoot-em up, action comedy or romantic comedy molds. And black actors even in serious dramas must for the most part be content with supporting roles (The Morgan Freeman Syndrome).

Wesley Snipes had Jungle Fever and then what, they turned him into an action figure guy. They dissed Denzel in Malcom and Philadelphia but gave him an oscar for playing a Karao that gets rubbed out by a white rookie. Hollywood is one of the places you can see for real how Black people are viewed in a general context.

How else do you explain how a horrible movie like Soul Plane got a budget?