Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Black Movies? Classics?

Somewhere in my teens, we became obsessed with identifying ourselves us black! It wasn't enough we were born black…we had to say it and prove it! So ghetto attitudes emerged mid-form 1. Especially with the likes of Snoop hitting our walkmans “...mirror mirror on the wall who is the top dawn of them all? There was a rabble dabble 5 minutes had lasted…you are you conceited bastard!”

So our dressing style changed. The way we spoke changed, know wha I mean nigga foo u best be representing up in this hees-ouse! And the movies we borrowed changed as well. All of a sudden if you was (see the kind of language I be using?) black you must have watched specific movies. God we were full of crap!

So this is a post on black movies over the years past through present that have tried to influence society. Of course my take on Black movies is that they are whack cum slightly below average. Solely because they all have the same message! Same old grew up disadvantaged in the projects…grew up to do know good…selling or doing drugs…puh-lease give us a new story! Without drive-by’s. Without coke. Without guns.

So I did watch these black movies…no regrets but they sure aren’t classics. Don’t you agree most were moderate!? Some had great moments…and were worth wathing…but think are these on your Christmas Present DVD list???

Color Purple

Most definitely one of Steven Spielberg’s best works. Black cast that had powerful performances. Since when did you see a black actress getting an Oscar nomination in their first big screen appearance like Whoopi and Oprah did.
Mshairi I know this is one of your favorite movies…and color.

Boyz n the Hood

Gripping yes. At the time I guess the storyline hadn’t been overplayed.
Sure it put John Singleton on the map…but funny thing is this movie is considerd a classic. I’m sure nothing that raw had also aired so it was a milestone. But is this a movie you want in your movie collection. Maybe?

Cuba Gooding, Morris Chestnut, Ice Cube…

Jungle Fever and other Spike Lee movies

Yaani…these are apparently the black classics of our time. Killer song by Stevie Wonder. Now the debate about Spike Lee and his movies is a post for another day. "coz she's got jungle fever his got jungle fever..." I watched this movie on M-net un-censored....mmm mmm so that's what washing machines are used for...what a revelation!


Sex Sex and more Sex. (Actually whats wrong with that) Didn’t believe Eddie Murphy would go this route. Martin, Robin Givens, David Allan Grier, Halle Berry and Lela Rochon and Tisha Campbel as the neighbour...I mean which black Star wasn't in this...

Edie Murphy beingleft high and dry holding sheets up to his chin like he was violated and used.
And his fetish with toes?LOL!
You guys must remember Grace Jones acting as ‘StrangĂ©’ Killer soundtrack as well. “end of the road” and Toni B and Babyface “Give you my heart” and Toni B “Love shoulda brought you home last night” To which Halle Berry paraphrased “Love shoulda brought your ass home last night!”

Malcolm X

Loved it Loved it! Great Great!

A definite must watch! Now, Denzel deserved the Oscar for this not Training Day!

Menace to Society

Loved it Loved it!
Larenz Tate at his finest playing 'O-Dawg'. I loved this film when I first watched it...Apparently one of those films that you must have and had to have watched. It sure had its moments...also considered a classic in its time! It actually could be like Boyz in the Hood! But this one I would love to watch again.

Jason’s Lyrics

Gangster movie goes all mushy and romantic. Loved Allen Payne washing Jada Pinket's toes by the lake side. Also loved this one...I think I was on a roll.

Poetic Justice

What made me burf was that it was about a girl called Justice who wrote Poems…Poetic Justice…
I you remember Janet’s song she was prolly singin “and I’ll never make this mistake AGAIN!” Janet Vs Tupac-LOL “wanna smell my punani” what tha?
And why didn’t someone tell me what TLC was singing when they were singing “Get it up” I thought they were saying get you r hands up….took me like 6 years later to figure that out….

Above the Rim

Didn’t want to mention this but Betcha by golly wow (trying to sound white) it had a killer soundtrack! Regulate by Warren G my fav rap of all time… “I’m tweakin into a whole new level G-funk step to this I dare ya…where rythmn is the base and the base is the treble..cords strings we brings melody…”
Note no comment on the movie!

Love Jones

Larenz Tate again…one of the first Black romantic movies of the time. Hmmmh!?

Higher Learning.

Tsk Tsk Tsk…Omar Epps, Tyra Banks directed by John Singleton...hapana!

Bootie Call

It was actually funny… Jamie Foxx( the one and only oscar award winner i wonder if he'd like to delete it from his C.V) and Vivica Fox.
LOL…this falls with other movies like WOO and Sprung! You just have to watch and keep it to yourself!

Don’t be a menace to south Central while drinking your juice in the hood.

1.If you haven’t watched the above movies…you will not appreciate the parody
2.You know I’m a sucker for spoofs!

Waiting to Exhale

Exhale already...and what was Wesley Snipes doing there?

More of a chick flick with Terry McMillan influence than it was a black movie. Angela Basset was great. Remember Donald Faison in this-he of scrubs-getting a BJ on the side?
Except for its soundtrack this movie-hapana!

Set it off

Not a bad flick actually…but not the greatest either. Jada Jada Jada Jada…Thank God you made it out alive!

Soul Food

Stellar Cast if there was ever gonna be a black movie to set standards this shoulda been the movie. But it didn’t quite deliver. Babyface on the soundtrack. It managed to get a spin off into a TV series. It was a nice flick but not the greatest…but on a league of its own in Black Movies.

The Best Man

I actually like this movie..well-cast. They should make more of these. But still not a classic!

The Wood

Surely!Sure good old memories but...left wanting...

remember this line
Dude: Touch it baby?
Babe: Oh it looks so nasty!
Dude:It's natural baby…natural!

Two can play that Game

Chicks went crazy with this movie-even Asian chicks! They learnt, memorized and lived this movie. Ubaya it had some funny lines and the actresses were hot Vivica, Gabrielle Union…and Monique…I love that woman-larger than life with a larger than life personality. That dirty minded “Nigga can lay the pipe!”

How to be a player

Had to put a movie for the guys probably the Male equivalent of Two can play that game…good lines in this one as well. But a classic? doubt it!

The Brothers.

I really liked this movie come to think of it. It was descent and had a normal storyline.
A classic?

So that’s majority of your list…now how many agree that most black films are whack. If you have classics put them here.

NB: I’m not downplaying Black Actors or Actresses…just those Black produced films with Black themes…

NB: have you ever noticed Tamala Jones is the Black Movie ho I think she has nearly appeared in all Black Sitcoms and Black movies of the 90’s

Friday, May 19, 2006

Searching for my summer movie...

ng overt he experience maybe a 7I am still searching for my summer movie! So far have watched M-I-3 and Da Vinci code and the Tato is still not quenched! I want something screaming GLADIATOR! TROY! PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN! PEARL HARBOR!

Da Vinci Code

A definite must see. It’s great…I think Ron Howard/Akiva Goldsmith and Brian Grazer definitely delivered. Always the book is better than the movie. But I guess in this case as was with The Client…they actually tell the story as it is. It was nice seeing Tom Hanks after a long time but he coulda done better…Outstanding was Paul Bettany (last seen in Firewall) as Silas and Ian McKellan…he always has the best roles in big budget movies and I can’t wait to see him in X3 next week.

So why am I unquenched? For starters too many Beautiful Mind special effects. Tom Hanks not convincing in that role. Some scenes were cut out of the book…it would have been nice to reveal that ‘Jesus’ bloodline had a heirs, a sis and a bro. There were 2 cryptex's not just the one. And all this fuss about the movie should be on the BOOK! I think it was worse cause I had read the book before-so no surpises there. But you guys go watch and have a ball I know I did. Silas was great! Sir Teabing Excellent. Actually everyone else was just great.

I give it a 7.5 out of 10...but still not my summer movie yet!

Mission Impossible 3

Why did it feel like an extended TV episode? Sure the action scenes were great. Story line was ok…but this is not my Summer Movie. Something was missing. Did yo notice how J.J Abrams friend appeared-plays agent Weiss on Alias and also cameo'd in Lost...not to mention his Felicity Star-Keri Russell...was this a reunion or...?

I think I had given it a 6.


I was thoroughly disappointed in X2-the preview so far is screaming super super super…let’s wait and see. Problem with previews is they overhype a movie and I may see disappointment coming in this one…buw wow that preview is hot!

Pirates of the Caribbean 2

I’m totally biased towards Bruckheimer the King of Summer Movies… I think it will be my summer movie

Superman Returns

Yup this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship we can’t go wrong! On this one.


I just saw the preview for this…at first I thought it was a preview for 24. Yup Keifer Sutherland will grace the big screen and guess opposite whom? The legendary Michael Douglas, Eva Longoria and Kim Basinger. What a power-cast! It has the makings of a killer-thriller suspense flick. Can't wait!
Now if you follow Michael Douglas you’d know he never picks a crap movie. Think Basic Instinct/The Game/Wall Street/The triage of Jewel of the Nile/Romancing the stone…But you know what they say about previews….

So untill all the summer movies pass...already Poseidon has bad reviews and was looking forward to that. I'm not into animations this year so Cars and Over the Hedge not on my agenda list.

Will the Tato be happy this summer?

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Baby Tato

We have gone through the makings of "teenage tato" in the last post but where did this full tato sprout from. Well, once upon a time there was a spudling also know as Nick also know as baby tato.

So what was this spudling upto way back when-when you thought there was nothing to be addicted to....well this is where he was...remember again Comedies will be discussed in another forum.

I'd also like to thank: the following video librairies for keepin the baby tato satisfied.

- C& A video lib (which used to be next to wimpy)
-Bellerive Video Lib) also in town)
-Caledonia Video Lib (near St George's Primary school my first primo"
-Micro Video Lib in buru
-Another lib in Kenyatta Market (don't even ask...but boy it had Different Strokes and many other comedies of the spudling's time)


Ok maybe I have gone a little too back in std 1. But GADDAMN I loved me some battle-cat and He-Man and Skeletor and Sorceror and Seargent at arms and O-koh( note I'm also talking like a std 1...and i also loved Grey Skull)...but we shall do another post on cartoons later including the loveable Ewoks...and Transformer...Mighty Gobots...Do you remember "the bear the tiger and other's?"

Muppet Show

I thought we were not posting on Cartoons or comedies...oh what the hell. Miss Piggy-be still my heart! Oh and the cheap jokes and those nasty old audience members in the balcony-THOSE guys were downright funny and hilarious! "Pigs in Space" " The Vet Doc sequence"
Same Genre was Sesame street....i sung along like I was being paid..."sunny days...."


Kelitu oh yes Std 4 was not the same without this piece of adult rated dramedy that we thought one could get pregnant from, just by watching. Valentine do you remember being busted with them tapes in your bag? Bruce Willis and Cybil!


Yes, A KBC great. Wah wah wah...A spudling has never been so shocked to hear Her Derrick speaking in German...und fuhreakin shocked! Poor me, I couldnt comprehend ati there was a voice over in English. Yes I knew Santa was fake...tooth fairy was cheap...easter bunny bilas....but Derrick a German!!!!!!

Old Fox was also a great one that came on Friday's as well...but couldn't compete with Derrick!


Ok i think i'm a sucker for anyone in a costume...and the way she'd spin around and change. Rumor has it she (same actor) is reviving that role very very soon! And she could stop a moving vehicle too with her moving hands

Knight Rider

I agree with Thinker...OH YES that car rocked with its super pursuit mode.SPM...and IT COULD TALK!!!!! Yes TALK no other car has talked ever...all would pale in comparison. Hebire eat your heart out! KITT...don't even mention that theme song. mmm mmm mmm...Though i tried to watch the DVD and couldn't finish one episode...

A Team

If you were a guy you had to love this! Action only seenin movies brought live to you on your silver screen! And with Mr T's " I pity the foo!"
With their bullet proof Van-Face, Murdorch, Mr T...and the cigar smoking dude what was his name Lector?
Again cue the theme song...ten te ten den den ten ...tererere


It's my phone ring tone by the way. Now how many of you were there when the shot an entire season on Dream Mode...ati Bobby was dead...suckers! Yaani even writers of Knots Landing fell for that. J.R and his two cocky wives played by Priscilla Presley and Victoria Principal
He was a son of a b****

21 Jumpstreet

Launched Johnny Depp and Holly Robinson into the spotlight.
" we'll always be there when your back is to the wall...say jump down on jumpstreet...."

Beverly Hills 90210

Obviously also missed this in teenage tato post...but how! Rich spoilt kids in high school while I was in high school...yaani talk about a place to get lost in wishing it was you driving into school loaded like whoa...totally they had caught their target audience. It run for a successful 10 seasons a fete that Aaron Spelling just repeated with 7th Heaven.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Teenage Tato

So you wonder if I was always a Couch Tato or did I grow into a full spud?. I'd say I perfected it! Today's post will be on the teenage Tato, and the next will be on Baby Tato. This is not a post that shall include sitcoms....but on drama's that fueled the thirst for continuing series that you had to not miss to keep up! Now did this in a hurry so there are a few shows that i couldnt track down their pictures e.g

COUNTERSTRIKE, STREET JUSTICE , DARK JUSTICE, TIMETRAX ...they were a bit lame but darn it we watched them all...LORD BLESS KTN for opening our eyes. heck even the chick prog SISTERS which run a good 6 years

SO this will be a pictorial post( smile at akiey5)

Let the pics do the talking and refresh those memories...if only we could go back in time...

North and South

Who could forget Orry and George tearing up the dollar to meet up after the war. The evil Elkanah Bent. And Leslie Ann Down.


From Kunta Kunte thru to Chicken George to Alex Haley....


Ramsey Street: Robinsons and the Ramseys.


Wow. Aliens on earth!

Thorn Birds

MMM mmm mmm ever seen a woman curse GOD for taking her two men. She loved two priests-one her son, the other her son's father. So not only had God taken them as Priests he tool their lives too...she played with fire as the priest tasted forbidden fruit!


He was a cop! A cop gone bad! Framed for outlaw...a Renegade cue that music!


He was funny in his cheeky ways!

Knots Landing

A successful spin off from Dallas. The Ewings...The Somners...Mackenzies...we all remember Paige and Abby! 13 successful seasons-beat that!

Lois and Clark

Oh Teri Hatcher...and Superman as well...the thing missing in smallville is the costume!


To me the best medical drama to me...even with House and Grey's Anatomy-I argue this was on a league of it's own in 94. PERFECTION...remember they shot an episode live!