Deliciously Violent Movies

There is a difference between gore from horrors and sheer raw, graphic violence! The latter has nothing to do with scaring you, nothing to do with sending shivers down your spine but quite the opposite. ONE makes your heart beat faster the other makes your heart stop! Cold, clean and crisp VIOLENCE. Violence delivered naked, up close and personal that you gasp in shock! Especially when they writers spring one on you,thats the best violence. The type you do not expect to happen or expect to be shown! Wham Bam thank you Ma'am!

Now when they say violence on the movie screen has adverse effects perhaps this is what they are reffering to off late.

1. Shooter



I kept thinking about you Movie Buff. This is a good movie with some serious sniper action that will leave you astounded. Cold blooded killing...yes! yes! yes!

"I am the Senator of the United States" says the senator...to which he is silenced close range.

2. Apocalypto




Why no one spread the word on this movie I will never know. Some of those scenes were just wrong. Fighting with a jaguar!? A spear impaling you through and through...people being beheaded...talk about a little ejaculatory joy of violence.

3. 300



Nothing like choreographed violence with spurts of slow-motion!!!! OH YESSS!!!!

4. History of Violence



I think this is the first movie I've ever seen with such open violence. Damn! Up close and personal...this movie had nothing to hide...not to mention that sex scene with Viggo and Mario Bello was as real as real gets. What a ride..I'm not talking bout the sex but the movie...that too!

5. Children of Men.



It was a tad slow... a tad boring on the futuristic aspect...but they way Julian oore get shot. Note since she is a big star you don't expect her to die so soon. WHAM! The sound was spectacular as well and near the end some fighting and shooting scene leaves your mouth open and dry.

6. 24.


Season 5 episode 1: The death of David Palmer. I did not see that coming...let me rephrase...I still don't believe the killed Palmer like that. Barely 2 minutes into the season premier...direct shot to the neck. I couldn't belive my eyes. How? Why? Seriously are you allowed to kill a major character? In fact I was wondering where the hell they get off doing that!

Season 6 episode 4:Death of Curtis. Cold blooded..again a direct shot to the neck. BRUTAL! If you want to get rid of a character there are gentle ways of doin it than that. Look at Curtis above...look at that neck..wait for it....

Worst Movies Ever...some of them...

The tato prides himself in being a master of everything big screen and silver screen. The tato prides in the fact that from a preview or even a review he can tell what's worth it and what's not. He prides himself knowing that he will get disappointed when he watches this or that..and he knows when he will be elated...he knows when he is just passing time...he knows what he needs for every mood or occasion. The tato has prided himself in recommending movies and those he recommends to have always been satisfied.

However the tato remains unamused whenever he is wrong. And not that kind of wrong that he should have known better but that kind of wrong that is almost sinful. That kind of wrong that you lie there embarassed and broker and by your tato standards is totally sorry! The kind of wrong where all clues and hints mislead his super skills. When all his criteria is met and shattered from the credits!

The folowling will forever remain etched in my mind...and I'm ashamed for having watched them.Just to name a few!

1.Joshua Tree


Who funds these movies and why? Dolph Lungren and Kristian Alfonso a.k.a that chick from Days of our Lives called Hope.

2.Burn Hollywood Burn


Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!

3.Good Shephard



Good Gawd! An all star cast like that... a DeNiro movie... I have never dozed in a movie like this not to mention I wanted to walk out!

4.The Firm



This is the worst adaptation from a novel. The movie was a box office success. I have never figured out why!


5.Artificial Intelligence



What was Spielberg thinking?

6.Drop Dead Gorgeous



Shame on me!

Species II



Seriously what was I thinking, let alone them?!

More Previews

Cammon, admit it at times you let the preview overwhelm you and take you for a ride. And why shouldn't it, that's what it's for. Previews sell the movie...and after these 3 previews I am sold. Previews try to convince you this is the best movie ever. Usually very brief and well edited...very stingy...very showy...just enough to get you to the theatre.
Yup these did it for me!

300


It looks gory, graphic, bloody, mythic, gothic, legendary...think Lord of the Ring meets Apocalypto meets Gladiator. The preview is gruesomely awesome!

Live Free or Die Hard


Now this is one action packed preview...think John Woo, think Bruckheimer....This Grandpa is back. Bruce has always been a favorite of mine though of late he has been in some disappointing movies. This franchise has been super and the titles and voice in the voice over have always touched the right nerve with the tato.
Die Hard.
Die Hard...Die Harder.
Die Hard...Die hard with a vengeance
and now Live Hard or Die Hard....

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer



Now the first movie was a mediocre action flick...took too long establishing the storyline like we already didn't know the plot. The biggest mistake was wasting such a wonderful villain like MR. DOOM. Honestly he should have been saved for SPIDERMAN! But what it lacked in action it so compensated in humor. That flick was laugh out loud hilarious! And I'm excited to see the four return...and cannot wait.

Two Movies, Two Days, Two Reviews

Stranger than Fiction



Friday

So the Tato was coerced into going to watch Stranger than fiction by some tato-less, tato-clueless chick. This was not the way to start my box-office year.

However, even in the said coercion I still didn't think the movie would be that bad. Preview looked good. And hey Queen Latiffah and Dustin Hoffman were some of the things to look forward to. I'm not much of a Will Ferrel fan but was also looking forward to seeing how good an actor he is as compared to being a comedian. Shock on the Tato and his peels!

Verdict: CRAP! not even the mushy kind of crap! But long, boring, tedious...and annoying. So much hope for the storyline to take a new twist... NADA! Shame on you Emma Thompson!!! Shame on you for when you bored me in that Anthony Hopkins film and shame on me for boring me here!

the Pursuit of Happyness.



Saturday
1.I have never taken Will Smith seriously as a serious actor. Even in Ali. I've always thought of him as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air which in entirety isn't such a bad thing.So when he started acting in Bad Boys and Independence Day...I still had this thing of "now what is he trying to do?"
I-Robot...Wild Wild West...Enemy of the State...M.I.B...nuh...esp M.I.B 2

But here he is full grown! Evolved...

2.The beauty of this movie is I actually felt like I was in the 80's...it had an 80's feel, I was watching an old 80's film. Made in the 80's...so kuods to the art director and cinematographer.

3.Its about the whole act of SURVIVAL...beating the odds against poverty when your senses tell you to give up and throw in the towel! His journey as he pursues happyness...which even he thinks is but a dream..this is some good movie. A definite must-watch-at-home movie. Survival to the core...some scenes were great:
-him losing his Bone Density machine to some hobo...and initially to some hippie
-him struggling to get to the Church in time to get a shelter before they close down..and his kid drops his action figure and is crying for it, beggin to go back for it...and Will tell him to "Shut up."
-When Will has to lend 5$ to his boss and that all he had in the pocket and he HAD to lend it out....

4. His real life kid is totally adorable in this movie...and it will be good to watch is movie career grown from this. Watch out for a lil jig he does.

5. A definite must watch. Does he deserve the Oscar for this when compared with the likes of Forest Whitaker and Dicaprio for Departed...nuh...but he definitely deserves the nomination!

The Departed

Movie event of the year! Why bore you with long tales of how great the movie was when you could easily summarize.

If you have not watched this moive I urge you to go running. Consumate fine actors...the level of supporting acting is on a superior level. Alec Baldwin, Martin Sheen...and Mark Wahlberg are exceptional. Matt Damon and Jack Nicholson play villains with utmost perfection. Leonardo stunned me the most cause he is so mature in this movie. It was pure pleasure watching this ensemble team in action.




This movie is screaming Oscar Oscar Oscar! Hopefully Martin Scorcese gets his much awaited oscar.

The writing was spot on! ... so was the cursing!...so was the violence!

The suspense was spot on. You don't see that ending coming!

Jack Nicholson...yes yes yes! Stay away from comedies..this evil roles were made for you!

So as I do my last Couch Potato post of this year while celebrating the year I broke box office records by watching 53 movies at the big screen. Of which I repeated 4. This was a good year and Departed was the best way to end the Tato year!

Movies I cannot wait to see next year

Yup bumped into these previews and I am already excited about the new year. Of course you all know I'm dying to catch Spidey 3. But these are movies I did not know existed till I caught the previews and I am screaming from the rooftops or balcony of whatever movie theatre am standing on " must watch must watch!"

What movies are you all waiting for? others include Die Hard 4, Rush Hour 3, Sin City 2, Ghost Rider....

EPIC MOVIE


If you liked DATE MOVIE as it made jokes of all those typical romantic comedies...then why won't you love to see movies of these year get spoofed. From Pirates...X-men...Superman Rerurns...Borat...Macho Libre...Little man...
From 2 of the 6 writers of Scary movie what else will you expect but a solid good dose of cheap humor.
Movie Buff made me a promise that she will watch this movie...and like it!

NORBIT



Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy and Eddie Murphy again. Yes I do enjoy it when he plays many roles like in Nutty Proffesor or Coming to America... Looks funny...sounds funny so I'm guessing it is funny!


TRANSFORMERS


Watched the preview...and it has all it takes to lure you in like a sucker. I loved the cartoon.." more than meets the eye...autobots meet their battle to destriy the evil forces of the decepticons..."

and it's Michael Bay ( though without Bruckheimer....I warned you bout the Island..but you didn't listen) But it has Blockbuster written all over it.


Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End


Yes I am ready to sail to the end of the eart' to bring back Jack Sparrow. Go Bruckheimer! Go Barbosa! Go Sparrow! Go! GO!



SPIDERMAN 3



This will be personal. 3 villains...oh yes! Between this and Pirates my loyalties are mixed.


Simpsons: The Movie



This looks like the makings of a mad funny cartoon...you should see Homer being caught between a Rock and a Hard Place. Hilarious...Oh the opening scene with a bunny hopping is out of this world! In 2-D!



Ocean's Thirteen



What more could you ask for in a star studded cast. STAR STUDDED CAST then add AL PACINO!!!!!!! AL PACINO-that's all for the review! I'd heard Julia Roberts is not returning....shame on you!!!! I could do without Zeta Jones but Roberts coe back you Erin Brockovich you!


Shrek 3



Cammon we all love us some SHREK!MUST MUST WATCH!!!

Currently at the Box Office

Nativity Story



Was actually looking for a feel-good movie something that could set me into the christmas mood. This wasn't it. I didn't feel overwhelmed...or as the cliche would go I did not feel the spirit. Pun intended.

I was disappointed!

Eragon





It is being called the Lord of the Rings of this year...and come last Friday I run to the theatre.Verdict???Disappointed Disappointed Disappointed. The baby-dinosaur was definitely cute...but I felt like I was watching a Disney movie. I felt like I was in Std 5 being taken on a nice kiddy fairy tale story. No! What a waste of fine actors like Jeremy IRons and Jon Malkovich. What a waste of hype!

Happy Feet.



Had gone expecting to be disappointed...and was so NOT! It's a cartoon so my expectations were down there until I heard that Prince song and I was toe-tapping like the Tagline says. "you don't have to be rich to rule my world...ain't no particular kind I'm more compatible with I just want your extra time and you're.....kiss."



The above scene was so so so cute with baby Gloria trying to poke into the shell so that Mambo could hatch.



Robin Williams was great as Ramon and Lovelace.These 5 penguins put a whole lot of soul into the movie.Mumble/Mambo was great

My only problem is I felt they rushed that ending ....but the songs were great. The jokes were cut-throat! Sharp and icy! Special effects grand. Yup that's my movie of the week so far.Great! Great! Great!

Funny Golden Oldies

I like doing flashback posts...and nothing is more worth it than reminiscing over good laughs! These movies if I recall well had me laughing in different styles. Talking of nostrils never quite recovering. Laughing from deep down and expressing it in a noise that resembles that of laughter. This was inspired by KM who we have been reminiscing with funny moments.

These are classic gems and I pray that you have watched at least some. I had already mentioned Mrs Doubtfire in a previous post so here are some more...

So if you'll are wondering what to get me for christmas....surprisingly most of these were Christmas movies.

Tommy Boy



Rest in Peace Chris Farley but this movie will forever be one of my funniest!David Spade was totally out of this world here...great stuff!!!!Great scenes...with him spanking mr naughty. Chris singing "fat boy in a little coat..." Them singing rock in the car..and then change of scene they are crying singing sad love songs...

Look at that mad-funny tagline. "if at first you do not suceed, lower your standards!"


Three Amigos


What else do yo expect when you team up Chevy Chase, Steve Martin and Martin Short? do you remember their song? Funniest bit was Chase and Martin running out of water in a desert and they are dying of thirst...and Short is there pouring water all over his face!

Roxanne


Steve Martin at his best. That chick getting locked out of her own house feeding that cute cat...precious! That NOSE!!!!

National Lapoon's European Vacation and Christmas Vacation.



Both were laugh out loud the Griswald family that entailed a whacky dad. a kinky mom a dumb bro and a smart ass sis! I loved Christmas Vacation better-there is this part where they hit soe serious potholes and the sis thinks she has had her first period!


Home Alone 2.


For some reason I really found this funny! Poor sticky bandits!


Blazing Saddles.


Lord have his mercy.Punching out an OX? LMAO!

Homeward Bound



This was such a classic. Sassy was the most gorgeous cat with sarcasm and nasty one liners!She was cool and calm and bitchy!! The 2 dogs were great as well.

Casino Royale

Gaddamn Mocha and Egm, a brada can't ululate in finding the perfect avatar...I almost feel like bringing back Spidey

I actually avoided reviewing Casino Royale...especially since Ichiena was supposed to be my date...now let's get the review started right.

Verdict: Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!

so what is that supposed to mean?



For starters, I actually see why the chose to go the Daniel Craig Route. We expected them to replace Pierce and for him to compete with the likes of Sean Connery and Roger Moore...but in fact what they did was give us a whole new BOND.

And i dont think it's workin unlike Justin Timberlake's "I'm bringing sexy back-yeah!"

And this may have played to their advantage. It's hard having to replace a character...think Batman...from Keaton to Kilmer to Cage ...and now Bale. Even Smallville did the same for Superman. The secret nowadays looks like it involves..going back to the roots and beginning all over again. Cause this is what Casino Royale actually is James Bond-Episode 1. Hollywood has discovered this whole Episode 1 genre and using it to revive Bond. Worked on Star Wars as well.

is it me or does he look like Rock from Fantastic Four. Move over Chiklis!
Move over Halle Berry that scene is being re-done!

Instead of suave and chique! Instead of classy, majestic, debonair-we now have a BRUT!
A cold mean Brut! Who to make things worse wastes our time falling in LOVE! Damn it-BOND doesn't do LOVE! Bond doesn't succumb to emotions! He doesn't have to he is BOND, James Bond to say the least! That whole sequence irritated the hell out of me...and for hi to be duped like that-is now pushing it! Bond is smart with lots of cheek! Oh no they didn't play him out like that!

Many may argue that perhaps this is what made him casual in his future flames..i refuse! They wasted to much time on that love story the same way Superman Returns did with Lois and Superman flyin around. Many may say this is the side of Bond we never knew...that this is the initial Bond that IAN FLEMING had in mind...and as BORAT would say NAAAAAAT!

Honestly, the movie started with such a BANG! His two killings in black and white that made him a 00 agent-EXCELLENT! That chase scene with that black guy was outstanding especially the aerial shots...I was damn well near clapping...however the whole story line went downhill. Too much time was wasted in the casino! Not even Judy Dench could help it not crumble down. Though I liked the interaction between Bond and in her room...was hoping to hear M stands for a prudish name like Margaret...The torture scene was fantastic and you can see the Cheek in Bond come out



UNANSWERED QUESTIONS!

Where were the gadgets? Where was the shameless advertising and merchandising like in "Tomorrow never dies?" Remeber how almost every ad on CNN was to do with Bond...from the watch, car rental, BMW... The cars? Where were they? The many many Bond Girls? Q? (yeah I know the original Q died and John Cleese came at the end?) But for the sake off continuity...damn it bring back Q and MONEY PENNY! Where was the killer Theme Song? I mean all BONDS had significant theme songs!

So as much as this was going back to the roots to re-invent BOND! I don't think you can reinvent a product 20 movies down the line! You cannot attempt to change BOND yet have his old traits ooze out...

I think Craig will do one more Bond before the franchise slowly tapers off! Perhaps it will grow..but they have taken BOND in a whole new direction. Which the old audience may not appreciate! It is doing very well in the box office...but the truth will be out come the second movie!

To me James Bond is not a BRUT or a THUG!

The movie is definitely worth a watch especially on big screen. It was satisfyingly long but there was room to make this movie more than it was. It left us wanting more! It had had great start...lousy end! Amidst glowing reviews...nah this wasn't the best BOND for me!

R rated movies of R time

Dedicated to Patron Saint and Aco who is on the bilaz train. Patron saint had had an R rated encounter of late...

Back in the day this was as close to porn that we could get...the fact that they had running storylines was even all the whole lot greater!



Basic Instinct

oh yes! what a story line! what a duo!
Douglas had created a niche for himself. The story line was great.
Sharon stone was fabulous and we all remember that famous cris-crossing of her legs.

Grrrr Hrrrr Prrrr















Fatal Attraction


Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, a jilted lover demanding strings after a one-night stand. Let no woman come between her not even a BUNNY!

Glen Close at her best!
Douglas again






Nine and a Half Weeks

Kim Bassinger had come a long way

















Specialist



As Gloria Estefan's song said "turn the beat around...turn it upside down...get it get it up right now...the violins are moving to the nitty gritty...guitar scratchin..."

You remember the trailer ...Stallone...Stone...The Specialist













Fair Game


Cindy Crawford and her mole, and William Baldwin=Better believe it equals fair game.

No story line but....






Disclosure


Oh yeah Douglas you thought you had your game till Demi Moore turned the tables...didn't you feel like a piece of meat?!

Go Demi Go Demi Go!






Indecent Proposal



Demi Demi Demi...so for a million bucks would you sell off your wife?

Woody Harrelson, Demi and a very rich Robert Redford